I want to tell you a story about a girl I used to know –- to the world, she seemed remarkable — a respectful daughter, a diligent enough student, and a star gymnast at school. The eldest daughter in a family of five in a Singaporean family that seemed outwardly ordinary, they attended church together on Sundays, took the occasional vacation.. These moments were captured in family photos framed around the house – smiling in front of a temple in Bangkok, building sandcastles on Kuta beach in Bali..
Nhưng những bức ảnh ấy thường tương phản với những tiếng quát tháo, tiếng cửa đóng sầm và bạo lực trong gia đình mà cô không thể nói với bất kỳ ai.
On 19 April 2008, this girl would attempt to take her life for the first time, pulled back from the ledge only in the last minute by a message from a friend who had decided to check in to ask how she was doing. That girl that was saved by a friend was me.
5 years ago, I suffered one of my most profound losses as a psychologist. A young woman I was working with suffering from depression jumped off the top floor of the building she lived in, she survived the fall but died upon arrival at the hospital. This was not the first person I knew that took their life, and I know it will certainly not be the last.
In 40 seconds, you could drink a glass of water. In 40 seconds, you could even make your bed. But every 40 seconds, one person in the world dies by suicide.
I wish to live to see a day where nobody needs to feel so alone in their despair and pain that they feel the only way out is to end their life. Doctors, nurses, psychologists — there is a limit to what we can do for a global mental health crisis that is impacting every one in two persons. Look to the person on your right, and now to the person on your left. These persons you are looking at could be in some kind of emotional pain that you can’t even begin to imagine.
If I were to be completely honest, it was never my doctor or my psychologist that saved my life. It was being offered love and kindness when I could not love and be kind to myself, sometimes through a text message to ask how I’ve been, sometimes in a warm embrace from a friend I haven’t seen in awhile, these are the little moments that have kept me alive to this day.
I have seen firsthand how community has been transformational IN the way we offer care and support and love to each other in The Equity Initiative, not to just my cohort. But the other cohorts that have come before, and the ones that have and will come after
So my invitation to you is to offer 40 seconds to someone in your life, 40 seconds to tell them you love them, 40 seconds to tell someone you care, because YOUR 40 seconds could save a life.
Author: PhD. Eleanor Joan Ong Herng-Jie
Eleanor is a dedicated and compassionate psychotherapist, channelling her strengths towards multiple roles supporting marginalized communities and equity. In her current position as a Director at The Greenhouse Community Services, she champions the organization’s mission to revolutionize addiction treatment by establishing data-driven, evidence-based and trauma-informed approaches as the gold standard in Singapore and the broader region, with a keen awareness and sensitivity to the needs of marginalized communities.
